How the Owl and the Pussycat Met

The Owl (it is said) took as given (or read)
His drinking was second to none,
When out on the town he could easily down
Twelve pints with some chasers for fun.
Ev’n rum he drank neat, a remarkable feat,
Red wine he could drink by the gallon,
The state he got in even bottles of gin
Would scarce wet his beak (or his talon)
(his talon)
(his talon)
Would scarce wet his beak (or his talon).

One night at the bar after many a jar,
He proudly declared loud and clear,
“Should anyone think they can match me in drink
They’re welcome to prove it right here.”
In awe of the bird, for a while no-one stirred,
They stayed on their seats where they sat,
Till – would you believe it? – well, take it or leave it –
There stepped out a mangy old Cat
Old Cat
Old Cat
There stepped out a mangy old Cat.

The booze flowed all night as this trial of might
Continued till night turned to morn,
Left nearly for dead, at last the Owl said,
“I wish I had never been born!”
His head hurt like hell, he was retching as well,
The Cat stood in triumph o’er the bird,,
“Great heavens above!” thought the Owl, “I’m in love!”
“Please marry me!” “OK” she purred,
She purred,
She purred.
“Please marry me!” “OK,” she purred.

(Please note that the story of how the Owl and the Pussycat first met is subject to some controversy. Alternative versions of the story may be found here, and here.)

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